February 28th
Got to the airport at midnight. I ordered an Uber to Camila’s house. Got a driver. He canceled. New one confirmed, he arrived. Called my mom on the phone, she was talking about how she likes to listen to audiobooks on her kindle and I told her that I don’t enjoy audiobooks because they read too slow, and if you adjust the speed, it’s too fast.
Got to the place? I don’t know, across the street was a bus stop, behind it, a market, closed. There is a barbershop, also closed, a tiny gate, and a bar, not closed. Thankfully, the driver was concerned for my safety and double checked with me that I gave him the right address, because there was no house here. I checked, we were at the right place. Maybe its this gate? it was very narrow and dark so I didn’t want to enter it unless I was certain. I called Camila, no avail, call again, no response. I got out the car to take a closer look through the gate, the driver kindly waited. Marina’s face peeked into my frame of view. Right place!
Camila was sleeping, napping rather, Marina noticed my calls and went to answer the door to pick me up. I pull up, Felicia greets me with jumps and kisses. We make our way upstairs and Camila is butt up passed out. I go in front of her and wake her. AHH.
we hug.
I missed her so much!!! Sara is also here, this was my first time meeting her! The four of us proceeded to smoke and hang out for the next few hours. Marina was sleepy, kept rotating from Camila’s bed and the hangout corner of her room. Sara took an impromptu photoshoot of Camila and I.
^one of the photos Sara took.
I knocked out around 3/4 don’t remember, snuggled up into bed next to Marina and Kiki, Camila’s new cat. She found her outside a week or so before I arrived. Camila passed out on the floor and Sara went back home around 5am.
Woke up around noon, I was the first one up. Made a toast for myself. Finished watching Noriko’s Dinner Table (began it on the plane ride over)
Camila and Marina woke up soon after I finished the film. We took the lounge chairs out to the front yard. Smoked, listened to tunes. Marina and I went to Zafarri, she got ingredients to make pasta. It was delicious! Marina went home around 6pm. Sara swung back around at like 8 or so. We went out, Camila didn’t really want to go because known foes were gonna be present, but Sara really wanted to go out, so we accompanied her. the foes were in fact, present. Sea is friends with them? so she went to chat w them, Camila and I rolled one up in the corner. Went to the store and she got a drink, I got French fries. We ate out front and then met up with Sara, who only after an hour or so of being out, was ready to call the night. We got an Uber back to Camila’s. Dressed ourselves up for another shoot. My body chose sleep instead.
February 29th
A pretty low-key chill day. Hung out at Camila’s all day. She was really sleepy, kept taking naps. During one of the nap intervals we went out to the front yard and sprayed ourselves with the hose. AGUA MHMMMMMM we put a hair mask and argon oil on our hairs. Camila fell back asleep. Fui pra loja.
2 ramens
Torcida de alho
yogurt mentos
camel cigarrettes
a footlong brigaderio cake???
total was 22 reais $4.40. the cigarettes alone are $17 in New York.
Camila stayed napping. I stayed making art, watching shorts. Ran out of weed. Camila woke up around 2. We got more weed! We were gonna go bike riding with Sara in the morning.
March 1st
Sara pulled up around 6 am,,,,, I just realized I still did not sleep. shouldn't start my day without a nap…. yea a nap…. woke up at 2pm. Sara left and our plans shifted to another day, but I was well rested!
Camila and I went out to a villa. Vio meus amigossssss!!! Caus! Ayesha! Marina (again!) met Camila’s friend Guillerme, o Twink. he was so sweet!! it was so fun, we walked around, everyone in Porte Alegre was out on this wonderful warm Friday night. All the 20-something y/o’s were on the block, a lot of them LGBTQ members. Almost everyone here is trans or non-binary, with gorgeous personal styles. Ranging from the casual Latina summer attire, shorts/skirts and a cropped top to futuristic punk. Got myself a pastel de queijo com oregano (empanada). Camila got a caipirinha de limon (alcohol) took so many photos on the coolpix. Ahh and we saw Justo! he was across the street from us and Camila and I ran over to say hi. Camila jumped to hug him and knocked his earring out his ear, it was bleeding a bit.. We searched around but couldn’t find it. It was later found in Camila’s bag, only after we got home. It was wonderful seeing everyone again, we stayed out till around 3.
March 2nd
We went out to Caus and Ayesha’s radio release party. Walk into techno music and well dressed freaks. The room was dark and there was a projector screen on the top left corner of the wall, it’s playing some weird AI art, cows using laptops morphing into human faces, business dogs, ladies smoking, random stuff. We missed Caus’s dj set, got there just in time for the final set. Pedro was there!! first time seeing him this trip. He looked gorgeous, bald with bleached brows, he and Marina are dating, they are very adorable, a good fit for each other. Camila had to use the bathroom as so I waited in line with her. Jupiter was waiting in front of us in line. This was our first official meeting, but I had seen him the night before while we were out! (later while we were looking at photos from our nights out this week, he recognized me from the night before also bc I was wearing Camila’s Japanese school uniform sweater. Took him until the photo to realize it was me bc my hair was tied, so I had a bob instead of a wolf cut.(I thinkkkkkk what I have would be considered a wolf cut??? mullet maybe, idk grown out shaved head!)) the show ended an hour or so after we pulled up. Ayesha had went home because she had been out the whole day working, prepping for the party, and doing a guided tour of her artwork, which is currently being exhibited here in Porto Alegre!!! Gotta go check it out while I’m here!
Camila, Jupiter, Pedro, Marina and I walked together to the next stop, we were walking behind a group of about 10 or so other people who were at the Radio Release, we caught up to them because they were strolling really slowly. Went to villas again. Same vibe as the night before, or rather, that morning. It was one of the dude’s birthday! I don’t remember his name, but he had a cool shirt that said ““ walked to the corner bc Jupiter wanted smokes, met some of his friends. One of them, Lauren, was talking to Camila about Escebar, a bar here, and I brought up how I had never gone. Which caught Lauren by surprise but then I told her I was from New York, which surprised her even more, and she complimented my Portuguese saying I didn’t really have an accent. (which is all I could hope for considering its my first language!) 2nd time I was complimented on my Portuguese that night. The first happened an hour before, I was getting açaí and asked for a menu, but it was a serve yourself place. (quite obviously also, I don’t know why it took me so long to understand) the cashier had to explain how the store worked 3x, it wasn't’t until they literally walked me through it that I realized it was self serve…. clearly they could tell I din’t live here and asked where I was from, then told me I didn't have an accent and spoke well. so that’s nice. It makes me very happy that strangers are surprised to find out I live in the states. Shoutout Newark.
We circled back around to Villas once more. I got a pastel, then we went strolling. Went to Escebar since I had never gone. Met Lara there, a friend of Jupiter and Camila, she joined us on our stroll, Pedro went home. We made our way back to villas again, using Jupiter’s marker to tag walls along the way.
Back at Villas, we entered a restaurant on the block and Jupiter brought us up to the upstairs area, it was open and empty with the exception of one couple dining near the bathroom. Behind them was a target, with Bolsanro’s face on it! Jupiter stabbed his face with a sword that was laying on the table next to the board.
There was a kid bike outside the window being held up between the window itself, and the wood boarding in front of it (the sign of the restaurant I think it was.)
^ said window.
we smoked and hung out u there for a minute, goofing off. Lara wasn’t with us anymore at this point. Marina left soon after we left the restaurant. We walked around the corner and waited with her for her Uber. Now it was just Camila, Jupiter and I. We walked to where all the skaters were chilling at, by the water. Met some more of Jupiter’s friends. Such pretty people, every single one of them my god. We tagged some more then decided to call it a night. Jupiter and Camila live pretty close to one another, so he came to the house with us and we hung out until 6:20, when he left to catch the bus home.
March 3rd
4:03 sitting on Camila’s floor typing this on my laptop. She and our friend, Jupiter, are chatting in Portuguese about Bladee. Genesis by Grimes just began playing, our friend brought up how he has a shirt with the album cover on it and offered it to Camila after she said she loves this album. She accepted of course. Felicia came up to cuddle with me, she is so wonderful to hug, her fur is so squishy. Really the only downfall is that she sheds- hairs constantly stuck on my palms after petting her.
5:45 still hanging out! listening to tunes, making art, smoking. ahhh the simple pleasures of life!! Listening to Karma Police. 7:17 After Hours is playing, I am singing along typing-lighter in my mouth, bong on my chin. let it rip!
16:29 was listening to My Cousin Vinny by Joe Pesci. Camila had never heard his music before and I had brought him, and then his music up, because he’s a real Italian Gn (and from Newark!!) who doesn’t currently have a new-born baby with a 20-something year old. (Al Pacino on the other hand…) 16:42 now. Kiki is MIA!! Camila’s mom had left the door open and we think Kiki escaped, went around the block to look for her but couldn’t find anything :/ Upset, Camila came back upstairs to take a bong rip and listen to Let Me Love You by Justin Bieber. She put it on for the meme, but then started crying a bunch. “Man this song is so good, these lyrics are so real rn" SAD GIRLS LUV MONEY by Amaarae and Kali Chis came up reccomened after the JB song was over and she started laughing. Vibe shift, she’s okay now.
I went to bed around 7:30, Jupiter left an hour or so before. Camila slept maybe 10/15 minutes before I did. Woke up at 11 with the extreme urge to piss, Camila was up and on her laptop, I was walking dead. Relieved myself, then went back to bed. Woke up again around 14:00. Ate pastels.
19:39 HI! we found Kiki!!!! Camila and I were watching Ryusei Kacho, and two minutes into the short, Felicia hopped off the couch and barked at the door. We look over at her and Camila yells “Kiki!!!” we opened the door and embraced her. Before going downstairs to watch our movies I swear I had heard a meow, immediately thought of Kiki, and looked around but couldn’t see her, she must’ve been right outside the window! She was found at 19:14-I took a photo when she got here to time stamp! We celebrated by listening to the four good songs off of Scorpion by Drake, including of course, In My Feelings:
Kiki do you love me? are you riding? Say you’ll never ever leave from beside me
I’m so happy she managed to find her way back home!! no injuries either. she was gone overall for about 5 hours. It was faith that we found her also, because we were planning to go to Ayesha's house today, but she slept in all day so we chilled at home instead. Andddd we were hanging out downstairs to watch our movie, which we usually don’t do because it’s occupied by Camila’s mom. Felicia’s bark would’ve gone unnoticed or, she would’ve been upstairs with us, and Kiki stuck outside the door. Crazy how things go right. Camila grabbed her red string and tied a bow around Kiki’s collar, because yes yes Kiki, the Drake song haha funny meme, but really, Kiki’s Delivery Service! Red bow to lessen confusion.
omg alsoooo, while I was showering Camila had come into the bathroom to let me know that Stressed out by Twenty One Pilots has 3.4B streams on Youtube Music,,,, which is crazy considering that yesterday we found out God’s Plan has 2B, which is alotttt, but like wow, Stressed Out?? Almost twice as many streams, idk caught us off guard lmao.
22:02 eating pão com requeijão, just finished typing up everything for my first days here. I am now fully caught up to the present. Till the next update!
23:57 Camila was in the mood to listen to some dumb sh*t so she put on Roar by Katy Perry and dude… tell me why that song has 4.3B streams. 4.3 BILLION streams…… that’s the most streamed one we’ve found so far, Google doesn’t have an answer for the most streamed on Youtube Music so until we find one higher (which would be insaneeeee) that song is #1. who would’ve thunk it!
OKAY WAIT for the love of GOD
its f*cking Shape of You by Ed Sheeran
god dammit. Makes sense sadly, it’s also the most streamed on Spotify with 3.3 Billy, but it has 8.3B on YT!!!!! ugh more than 11B streams total,,, crazy world we live in.
March 4th
19:48 yo yo yo. Hanging out with Camila and Sara rn. Camila and I woke up around 14:00. We cuddled the whole night, which we were only able to do because it was rainy so it wasn’t a million degrees in her room. We played Fortnite, I got 4th place my first round!!
Also, her parents are being difficult, refusing to buy her ticket back to the states, so I stepped in and offered to pay for it, and she’ll pay me back when we’re back. I’m so happy, it’ll be awesome! Shoutout to Aaron, wouldn't be able to do it w/o him. He’s gonna add money to my card for me so we can buy the ticket, good I left my card at home for real!! also also sad news. Kiki ran away again, and didn’t come back this time. :/
March 5th
Camila and I went to Ale’s house!! finally met them, they are so sweet!!! they are from Porto, Portugal, moved to Brazil 7 years ago, live in Centro with one roommate. we played league of legends. it was my first time actually playing the game. I had previously tried to download it on my old Mac back in 2020 to play w Isabela & co. but it was too large for my computer and didn't even run. but this time it did. (although it killed my battery. got to Ale’s house with my laptop on like 50%, put it to charge and it went down to 9% then 5%, bc the game was consuming too much energy!) nonetheless, I had a great time.
Camila was feeling so anxious, when we left her house, she told her mom that we were going to Ale’s and her mom responded by saying “go f*ck yourself” how kind.
we had got into a silly disagreement about ancestry and she got really overwhelmed and started yelling at me and crying and then said she needed to be alone and ran into the kitchen to cry. she had been pretty rude the whole day bcof everything that was happening. on top of her mom being a dick, her dad had also texted her saying that she wasn’t allowed back at his house and for her and I to go and live under a bridge.
All because I bought Camila a ticket back home. they knew she was going back, she’d been trying to get them to get the ticket for weeks now, but ohhh its too expensive, but getting laser removal treatment for her leg hair is totally in the budget. (1500 reals!!!! (literally the price of a flight back to the states) ) I wasn't going to let her parents continue to trap her here where she’s miserable and unable to gain independence even if she tried. they treat her like a pet. i’m so happy that she’s moving in with Tamar, I think it’ll be so good for her. she’ll learn how to money manage, and she’ll be able to find a peaceful routine that works for her, that won’t be interrupted by her parents yelling at her lol. and I am very proud of myself for being a baddie who is willing to invest in the well being of her friends- that is community building!! and Aaron is a baddie too, shout the f*ck out.
but honestly, it’s f*cking gross on her parents end. I don’t understand their perspective bc it’s not at all valid. they had no right to shoot themselves in the foot like that all bc Camila is trying to be a 22-year old adult. sad how true colors show.
I went into the kitchen and hugged her, I get what she’s feeling. she hugged me tightly and apologized, we both cried. Ale came into the kitchen and joined our hug, Camila also apologized to them for causing a scene. it’s okay, its human, and I love you Camila.
I really appreciate my friends a lot. anger is so real, it's disappointment and dissatisfaction. it’s having hope and trying your best in a world that is designed for you to fail. Anger is one of the most loving emotions that there is, it’s the desire for peace and the frustration of reality. I am so lucky to be held by my friends, and to be able to hold them. to build community and love one another, to actually help manifest better days for not only ourselves, but everyone else in the world, because they are so near.
did acid! because we had run out of weed and thought why not do acid lmaooo.
it was so much fun, not a very visually hallucinogenic trip (except for when I was on the phone with my mom sitting in Ayesha’s living room looking any the ceiling dance!) but it was very nice and tingly and #vibes
we dropped the acid at around 3pm, and asked Ayesha if we could all up an hour earlier than planned (3 instead of 4) but she wasn't home yet. so instead we talk a walk around Camila’s neighborhood. we started by listening to day n’ nite at the same time, and then had our individual playlists blasting in our ears there forth. the walk was nice, very hot out, the town is very pretty, regular brazil vibes. I like porto alegre, i’m really happy that Camila is from here and that I can explore around.
we got back into the crib idk how many minutes later and at this point the acid was kicking, we vibed listened to music, drew some stuff. then made our way to Ayesha’s around 5, almost 6 pm lol.
oh omg also!! the night before Camila and I were doing a CERN deep-dive and discovered that they made the f*cking World Wide Web!?!?!?! like nahh bro, it all goes so dee, not even on some conspiracy theorist sh*t, but just deadass, the proaganda machine is crazzzzy. I will actually be throwing my phone in the river once I get a bicycle. (citibike the only thing keeping me going w this sh*t fr lmao) but anywayyys, she brought that fact u to Pedro which reminded me of this story that Steven had posted earlier that day. he talked about surrendering to a.i bc it’s an unknown fore yada yada. I understood his message and hope for a sick new tech-savvy world but sadly am also a realist an these two things combined made me spend the next hour at Ayesha’s on may laptop writing a sincere warning of a.i to Steven, it was very positively received which makes me relieved bc I really meant well, I want to hang out with him when I get back into the city. he and I are friends, I have his location, and I respect him which is why I sent my whole passionate rant, cause he’s a beautifully passionate person.
here was my message to him:
I know your message comes from a place of love and hope, but i have to heavilyyyyy disagree, at least when referring to A.I as ” unknown” It’s fun to play with and is a very exciting concept, and while it’s overall potential is unknown, what is known is that it is a massive force that will definitely shift society. In a better world, it would serve to strengthen communities. But sadly the world-leaders care more about money and oil. So the harsh harsh truth is that in reality surrendering to the advancement of A.I because it’s inevitable, and playing around with it purely for curiosity or artistic (subjective:fun!) purposes, ignores the truth that feeding A.I, just allows it to adapt quicker and become more difficult to distinguish from reality. Bringing forth this “unknown” more quickly. It’s already happening. I’ve seen A.I generated pro-Isreali ads on Hulu, like actually (objective:propanganda). It’s bizarre. And thankfully, people our age are able to distinguish still whats real and what’s not. But people our parents ages, as well as everyone younger than us, doesn’t have the luxury of noticing. But soon we’ll lose that too because things will become so blurred. Fake news is the real news but it’s fake news and yes propaganda is already exactly that, but A.I is just an extra tool to manipulate the masses. So yea in the end i just think that while it is very fun to play with! It is also just being a cog to the very dangerous and real machine. As grim as it may sound. This comes from a place of hope. A place of nostalgia for the real world. For a real sense of human connection that we all seek, we have found ourselves victims of the game. Fabricating false realities for peripheral pleasure all to ultimately be lost in the clo9ud. I have a theory that this period of the internet will become the Dark Ages of the internet. Adobe Flash is no longer available, so many online lives lost all at the push of a button. They do not teach cursive in schools anymore, people are being brainwashed beyond belief. What once was will no longer be, histories are being erased and replaced with false vague garbage, bright colors and catchy words to distract the fact that they are KILLING people in Palestine with our money. None of this will be remembered, none of our protests. Nothing. Because none of it is concrete. I pray for a world where we allow ourselves to actually reconnect with nature. To archive!! Archive! Archive!!!!! To forget about the advancement of technology and focus on the well beings of the humans who inhabit the earth. Think about it, how was A.I before the pandemic v.s now, is this rapid progression natural? How much further does it progress? What will it be used for ultimately? Where will A.I be in 2028, vs now? Vs. 2020? There is no change without destruction. This cannot continue, A.I is not the enemy, and I know that. She’s a fallen soldier, who sadly landed in the wrong hands.
Ahh ahh sorry for being all preachy!! I'm just very passionately, so absolutely, horrified with what the future holds !!
we are the future. let’s not be cogs! :)
after I was done with my piece I sent it over and relaxed. Ayesha had put on Bigtop Burger ! I had never seen the last few videos, since they hadn’t been realeased when I first came across them, so it was really sweet to watch it finally. especially since it was with Ayesha, Pedro and Marina! people who I know appreciated it just as much as I did! Also Ayo Edeberi was a voice in it???? that girl is BOOKED and BUSY fr, good for her!!! Camila was in the bathroom doing her make up while we were watching the show, and Jupiter and this girl Isadora, had gone to pick up weed at boca (favela) Jupiter dressed as gay and non threatening as possible. they got back and we smoked it up! I paid 30 reais and Marina paid 20, there were 5 bricks left over so she took home two little bricks and I took home 3! fair exchange.
March 7th
I finally mailed the art supplies to tia Emirena. It was raining really hard all morning, so I only left to go around 5m, it closed at 6 and was abt 23 minutes away walking. Camila stayed at the crib and I went off. The weather was nice, not too hot since it had just finished raining. on my way, Hello by Martin Solveig ft. Dragonette began laying. A classic! A banger! made my walk over so much more fun. I walked to the post office in Teresópolis because all the other ones around closed at 5.
At the Post office, everything went good. My hands were sweating like crazzzzzzy, I was wearing Mae’s sweater and didn’t want to take it off bc I only had a crowd to under so I was struggling lol. sweat dripped onto the are where I was writing the delivery address on. I also had to write down the items that I was sending over and couldn’t remember what son was in Portuguese so I just wrote it in English lol. the clerk asked me for my CPF, and I had to inform her that I was visiting from the US. She asked me if I had anyone else’s CPF to use and I assured her I didn’t. Thankfully she was chill and still sent out the package for me. came out to 56 reais, ($11.20) way better than the over $100 bs they were trying to charge my mom when she tries to mail it from Florida. Glad I was able to help!
The walk back was 10x hotter, the sun had come out again. Camila couldn’t find her keys (turned out that her mom had hung them up then forgot she did that lmao) and so I left through the back gate, I tried to find it again on my walk back but didn’t. I walked back around the corner to her front gate and heard Camila shout my name as she was waiting to cross the street, she was on her way back from the market. We also bought Camilla’s final ticket back, from FL to NY. It was low-key a bit expensive (I got mine for $27! here’s was more than double that) but we got it! and thanks to my mom, bc I din’t have enough money in my account to buy it so I asked if I could use her card, and that I’ll ay her in cash when I see her. she told me ofc, but that first she had to make $244, bc that’s how much she was negative. but she did it, and we got the ticket. slayyy.
the rest of the night was pretty chill, we smoked and hung out. Camila fell aslee before me and I watched Kung-Fu Master (weird f*cking movie) and made 4 dolls out of Camila’s Pinky Street pieces before joining her.
yo Caus is #1 most hated fr lmao, and honestly for a reason. ela e muito fofocerra ne? and saying nothing at that lol. they sneaky, rolled u a joint while still at Pedro’s then
March 9th
15:59. I woke up about an hour ago. Camila was up before me, but fell back asleep by the time I was awake. she’s sleeping on the floor rn. i’m feeling a little heavy, I think i’m gonna get off of social media for a bit. idk, these last few days I have been thinking a lot about how everyone lives their life. I don’t think it’s okay that everyone is still working, still paying rent, still buying things, and yet at the same time posting abt boycotts and protesting for a free Palestine.
it’s cruel
it’s performative.
how dare everyone??? like actually it pisses me the f*ck off that I live my life as anti-capitalist as possible. that I am angry, and that I know change will only come if we actually change. but i’m crazy? f*ck everyone and everything for real.
everyone is petty. focusing on their indivual lives. I need to start a garden, but the soil is spoiled. I need to go to Club A every week. steal more. swim more. walk more. read more. go back to watching at least one movie a day. archive. burn cds. the internet is not real
everyone has to withdraw
we are being fools
ofc i’m only looking at things this way bc this is the 2nd time in 6 months that I am out of the city. and i’m still watching everyones story. the news i’ve been receiving abroad abt the new implements of the nypd been so drastic.
I will not tolerate sh*tty rich privileged people who refuse to see that I am very valid in my anger, that I do not care to fight on pointless sh*t. if you do not understand me, that is fine. I will no longer be providing free labour for the oppressors who disguise themselves as revolutionaries.
I will move in real life, as I already have been. I will continue to be as real as it comes. it frustrates me that foes I once called friends never viewed me in the same light. the same care, patience, and understanding, the community was never extended back. that is okay. I am so lucky to live the life I lead. to understand the world and know that I am just a tiny speck inside a giant’s eye.
19:54 living young, and wild, and freeee laying in the background. Camila and I just finished showering and are getting ready to go out to Ministerio, gonna be our last party here this time! She woke u around 5:30 and I showed her my Female Fever poster that Marlena gave me. Her interest was peaked, just as mine was, when I told her it had no watched on letterbox and is a lost film. We came to the conclusion that probably only physical copies of it exist, since it was shot on film.
Camila, Marina, Pedro and I went to Ale’s house after Minesterio. We played video games! first an old Mario game (can’t tell u which one) and then this worm game, I don’t remember the name. But the objective was to kill your worm opponents, it was very fun, I didn’t understand the game till a few rounds in. All my worms were dead with the exception of one guy, who ran 4, maybe 5 rounds with just 1% of life left. the team protected me for the sake of continuing the game. But then Camila shot me with an air missile LMAOO. Marina won I think, I actually don’t remember, but she was ahead of us for most of the game.
We also got pizza for us all! 3 in total. Camila individually ordered a pizza with half cheese, half corazon’s because she was craving it as her last meal here. We got one pizza that was half palmito half 4 quiejos, and the other was cebolla e corgumello. Camila’s pizza got to the crib first, at around 2 am. We were all starved so we each took a slice or two from her pie, and good thing too bc our other pies didn’t show up for another two hours. AND they came incorrect :/ one was regular cheese pizza, and the other had half chicken, it was also sooo cold when it arrived. But whatever, ovens exist and it was edible food, very needed! Pedro and Marina left soon after we ate the pizzas, they took a few slices home with them.
Camila had the sudden urge to hook-up with someone, so she hit one of her f*ck buddies up and left Ale’s crib. I think it’s bc she was feeling anxious after she saw that Sara had posted a picture of Bernardo. Menino feio. punchable ass face. I think Camila had to distract herself somehow. She had went off on Sara calling her retarded and a bad friend, which I think is really valid. Apparently, ela fico com u Sid, Fred, Bernardo, e um otrro moleces do mesmo group. very pick-me vibes it seems…and she’s 28 doing that...weird. but yea Camila blocked her bc she texted Sara being like why r u w Bernardo, and this bitch responds that it’s his birthday. when Camila knows damn f*cking well it isn’t. and then Sara goes haha e uma piada.
poha menina, a sua amizade fui uma piada tamben prq???? lol
but yea Camila left, ir chupar pau. e eu comer busceta. LMAOOO
I slept over Ale’s house, of course. it was fun hanging out with them. Talked about a lot of random things. I showed them the video of me in my body suit on the back of the train, which they thought was so sick, watched it over a few times. They were telling me abt how when they first moved to Brasil, when they were 15, they tried really hard for like 3 years to lose their accent, practicing constantly to sound Brazilian and not Portuguese. I think they did a great job honestly, their way of talking is fairly neutral in accent I’d say. We listened to Caroline Polacheck and smoked the rest of the hassish they had.
Then we went and laid in bed. Chatted a bit and laid closely. They turned to me and kissed me! Which made me glad because I was thinking of how to get to kiss them the whole time we were at Ministerio but I wasn’t about to ask bc well 1. what if they din’t want to (awkward!) and 2. Caus was out and ik if she saw me kissing Ale she would try to get another kiss and i’m so srry but shawty is such a sloppy kisser and i’m okay ! But Ale is a great kisser!! I was glad they came onto me frfr lmao. Also we were pretty buddy buddy the whole night so it was bound to happen. We had sex! Their body is very pretty, nice shape, good size, one pierced nipple. I <3 chubby girls, a little bit of weight never hurt nobody. it’s nice to grab! the dynamic was interesting bc we were both tops, but I let them take over bc why not! they ate me out for like hours?? actually I think. idk man they went on for a good minute. with some breaks in between, I went down on them, played with each other and grinded away. I came twice. We set at some point but all we did in-between was f*ck. They continued eating me out deadass till my Moto was outside. there was a second where I was abt to call it and then they came and kissed me and we made out for another 5 minutes and then they started going down on me again and said I should call the car or she was gonna stay down there the whole day lmaoo. and indeed she did till the last minute, when I told her “hey my Moto is almost here, I have to go." we kissed, exhanged goodbyes, and I left. Before leaving they said “I’ll probably never see you again.” I responded “eh who knows.” thinking I might if I come to visit w Camila again. But honestly, maybe I will never return to porto Alegre. idk Camila seems retty set on never going back there and if I go back to Brasil again I’d love to visit São Paulo. We’ll see I guess. but it was very sweet. my first hook in Brasil! (As an adulty at least. me and this one 5 y/o (I was also 5 duh) at my babysitters here inn Brasil! don’t really remember all the details of what we did tat lmaoooo.)n which just on an Isabella view is f*cking funny because one, shawty is PORTUGUESE and 2. born December 2001 (out 9/11)
March 11th
19:02 nah cause this sh*t goofy af. typing at you from Sao Paulo, currently waiting for my flight to MIA which will be departing at 23:15! so today was honestly very frustrating. but also chill bc everything worked out. but man Isabella did I make a f*cking scene at the airport lmao, I am the crazy lady who talks to herself, and i’m fine with that. it’s not my fault entirely, I was raised by a child who doesn’t know how to process/talk about emotions, yet swears she does, which is just worse than admitting u don’t know sh*t.
it’s very difficult to talk to my mom, I was crying trying to explain how i’m frustrated and trying to figure out my plans and my mom doesn’t listen to a word I say, she just hears the agitated tone in my voice and discounts my emotions as hate. WHICH IN TURN CAUSES HATRED. like bitch, I am literally figuring out the situation there’s no hate involved tf???? I genuinely cannot be upset and show that to her bc she gets her panties in a twist talking abt how i’m negative and sh*t. bitch i am literally crying because YOU ARE GONNA HAVE TO GO TO THE AIRpORT TWICE and I tried VERY CAREFULLY to make sure Camila and I were arriving at the samne time so that wouldn’t be the case. but does she care to understand that? does she get that I spent hours on the phone this week trying to coordinate our flights. does she get that I at this point I was just trying to get a ticket to NY so she doesn't have to go to the airport again in the morning? no instead she asked for my location, I said that really isn’t necessary, my phone is dying and we live in different states anyway, I know ur number and can call it to let u know where I am. right- the logical thing to do.
But ofc she cannot stand my assertiveness and took my want of privacy as an insult and she literally was like f*ck you I’m not picking u guys up, u wanna be an adult so bad get yourselves to FLL. then this c*nt goes, oh your an adult till it comes to me paying the phone bill.
WHICH IS SO PATHETIC OF HER AND ACTUALLY DROVE ME NUTS FOR A WHILE
this c*nt left me as a minor, did not emancipate me, did not assist me with my rent EVER. literally the only help she’s given me in the last 6 years is paying my phone bill, and even that I told her to stop bc she got a ridiculously expensive plan (it’s unlimited, but idc!!! I don’t even want a phone) but that’ why she pays for it, because if it were up to me, I would just not have phone service. Whatsapp, Instagram, Gmail. snail mail even. bro deadass the government provides phone service for low-income people, she’s just wasting her money bc clearly she thinks she’s doing something beneficial for me. and I appreciate her, but it was very lousy of her to try to throw that in my face in any way, esp when its the only act of motherhood she’s extended to me in over half a decade. anyway, all is well now. She wasn't being serious, and she’s at the airport rn picking u Camila, but I thought she was being mean and misunderstanding either way. like I know I was crying Como Uma loca, but as my mommy you’re supposed to tell me you love me and distract me with humor- not be the f*cking tone police….
c’est la vie. whatever, it’s 19:33 now, my laptop is rapidly dying.
anyway war on td. all u to the airport at like 4 with Camila, her mom, Pedro and Marina. We sat down near the gate and ate some French fries for breakfast. Camila left for her flight, first stop domestic so we entered serrate gates. my side of the airport was closed for another hr. Marina, Pedro and Camila’s mom waited with me. I got another order of fries and a brigadeiro. went through TSA pretty quickly. BAH- flight delayed- was gonna leave at 7:20, now it’s leaving at 8. I started spiraling at this point. my layover in Lima was an hour and a half, so I knew I was f*cked. f*ck. again, delayed. now it won’t be arriving till 11:10, I will definitely not be catching my layover (departed from Lima at 12!) It’s around 9 am. I have already cried and ran in circles a few times. sat down, this Peruvian lady next to me tried to calm me and my tears down saying i’d still catch the flight, but I exlained to her how I was gonna miss my layover and then she realized that she was going to miss her day also. It was one of her family members birthday! they were planning on celebrating and getting lunch together. AYO CREE IS LAYING AT THE AIRORT
Thanks for reading! Hope the first 2 weeks of March are going well for you as well! <3
