In A Dream You Saw a Way to Survive and You Were Full of Joy (2024)

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we have phones and so then we are phones. i think this to myself as i walk myself to go pray at a pew even though the doors are locked, knowing i have faith. knowing god delivers. it is raining outside and god delivers me to you, soaking wet and sopping. and so we are exalted. and now my phone doesn’t work anymore

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ 🄰 🅂🄸🄽🄶🄻🄴 🄴🅅🄴🄽🅃 🄲🄰🄽 🄷🄰🅅🄴 🄸🄽🄵🄸🄽🄸🅃🄴🄻🅈 🄼🄰🄽🅈 🄸🄽🅃🄴🅁🄿🅁🄴🅃🄰🅃🄸🄾🄽🅂 ♥

i’m 8 and my dad is explaining to me how the phone works both ways. the phone works both ways but i’m f*cking 8 and i have t ball practice in t minus 2 hours and my mom is forcing me to talk to my dad on the phone, while i am here and he is not

i try and enunciate this correctly

are you gonna be at my game tonight

i am 8 and a prophet. this is because he says no. i knew this when i asked the question. it is glaringly obvious to me at the time of this event transpiring that the ramifications of the phone going both ways is going to, pejoratively, f*ck up the rest of my life as an 8 year old. i acknowledge, and let go. i give my mommy the phone back. and i’m only f*cking 8.

ⒶⓌⒻⓊⓁ ⓅⓊⓃⒾⓈⒽⓂⒺⓃⓉ ⒶⓌⒶⒾⓉⓈ ⓇⒺⒶⓁⓁⓎ ⒷⒶⒹ ⓅⒺⓄⓅⓁⒺ (´｡• ω •｡`)

payment comes to me in the force of a 40mph pitch immediately f*cking me in the ribcage. i am bruised for weeks.

the It was being blocked by the towel used to secure my hand me down helmet in place. i pitched too good for the other pitcher on the other team at the cross county conference.

the next year i get my teeth knocked out for hitting a home run

i have no idea when i am 12 that these are canonical visions into my future

𝑒 𝓁 𝒶 𝒷 𝑜 𝓇 𝒶 𝓉 𝒾 𝑜 𝓃 𝒾 𝓈 𝒶 𝒻 𝑜 𝓇 𝓂 𝑜 𝒻 𝓅 𝑜 𝓁 𝓁 𝓊 𝓉 𝒾 𝑜 𝓃 (ノ ˘_˘)ノ✿✿✿✿✿✿

we’re up late in the dark and i’m talking to u on my way home and at home. i never remember the content of what you say to me as much as i remember, your voice in my hair and how windy it is. you go on a trip and come home and call me. we have this conversation. you recall— days later— we shouldn’t have talked about sex. i recall— you standing in the rain, asking me why the first thing you do when you come back is call me.

𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐀 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

there is a big machine in a locked room next to the service desk that counts money. you drop your drawers into it at night. i have three drawers to drop at the end of every shift. the machine is heavy and metal and always warm. the room is warm. the room smells like money. there is a camera monitor and a white fan which guard the entrance to the door. the door weighs like 5 of me and locks automatically. i stack my three drawers on the top of the machine (dubbed ‘bertha’). bertha is weirdly tall for a machine and reaches to right about my chest. i am too scared to touch my pockets or open my phone when i drop the drawers. bertha supports my arms while i wait for my cash to deposit. i am hyper aware that the tapes will be surveilled later. this ritual takes 8-12 minutes. i clock out late.

´っω=`) ₍ᐢ× ༝ ×ᐢ₎ ₍ᐡ-᷅ ·̫ -᷄ᐡ₎ ₍^⸝⸝> ·̫ <⸝⸝ ^₎(´,,>ω<,,`)♡ ฅ՞•ﻌ•՞ฅ ₍ᐢ> ̫<ᐢ₎ (´･ω･`):( ;´꒳`;) ₍ᐡඉ ̫ඉᐡ₎ ᐡ⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝ᐡ ₍ᐡ-᷅ ·̫ -᷄ᐡ₎⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝ ٩̋(ˊ•͈ ꇴ •͈ˋ)و (ヾﾉ･ω･`)(๑´`๑)♡ ˃̣̣̥᷄ ᴖ ˂̣̣̥᷅ ‎ᐡ ᐧ ﻌ ᐧ ᐡ (⸝⸝º ^ º⸝⸝ )( ˊᵕˋ ; ) ( ᴗ ̫ ᴗ ) (๑♡⌓♡๑) ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝₍ᐢ˶• ˔ กᐢ₎ ૮₍ ˃̵͈᷄ . ˂̵͈᷅ ₎ა ₍ᐢ•ﻌ•ᐢ₎ ᑦ(੭・㉨・)ᐣᘏ▸◂ᘏ ( ´͈ ᗨ `͈ ) ๑´ ³`)ﾉ ଘ( ິ•ᆺ• )ິଓ ꒰˘꒳˘๑꒱໒(＾ᴥ＾)७ ◟꒰◍ ´꒳` ◍꒱◞ ˘ ᵜ ˘ ( •ω•ฅ)ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ (๑´ㅂ`๑) (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑) ต( ິᵒ̴̶̷̤ ﻌ ᵒ̴̶̷̤ )ິฅ՞•ﻌ•՞ฅ (´๑•_•๑) Ꮚ˘ ꈊ ˘ Ꮚ ₍˄·͈༝·͈˄₎◞ ̑̑(ㅅ´ ˘ `) (˃ ⌑ ˂ഃ ) (❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ ૮₍•᷄ ࡇ •᷅₎ა